migration

New site up at http://raccoonandlobster.com. Slightly less defunct than this site!

sidebar

When one is sick and tries to take one's own temperature, it is of the absolute utmost importance that even in fever-induced haze, one can tell the difference between the human-oral-thermometer and the canine-not-oral-thermometer.

(It took me a moment but I got it right)

civic duty

Unsure of who to vote for this November? Politics inciting incoherent rage? Have you considered  the only candidate endorced by both Rocky and Arthur? When it comes to blind loyalty, there is no greater pinnacle than the Pack Alpha:

Pack Alpha: endorsed by both hat wearing, shoe napping, clinically depressed Goldern Pilferers and milkaholic, manwhorey, celery eating, actor's actors alike. 

gainful employment

Unfortunately, it appears that two gorgeous puppies can INDEED go broke relying on the kindness of strangers on the internet, and so it is with great dismay and reluctance that one golden retriever and one golden pilferer humbly submit their résumés for consideration.


Are you living in fetid squalor and unbearable feculence? Let the Boisterous Bulters come to your aid! Mr. Rock E. Raccon and Mr. Arthur O. Pod bring your the opulent servitude of yore, complete with bowler hat*.


Boisterous Butlers specializes in kitchen cleanup! Got dirty dishes? Especially dirty pancake dishes with gooey butter, fresh blueberries and maple syrup? Boisterous Butlers can help! Each dirty dish will be meticulously scrubbed by not one, but TWO butlers for the low price of two additional dirty dishes.


For a limited time, mention this blog when you call and get a 5 minute demonstration cleaning absolutely free! Boisterous Butlers will give your dishes that streak-free shine you crave using their patented eco-friendly water-saving methods.

Boisterous Butlers is not responsible for the whereabouts of dirty socks, stray tennis balls, or toilet paper after they are cleaned up. Customers are encouraged to purchase Under-the-Couch-or-possibly-the-Bed Insurance for an additional $5 per visit.

*Bowler hats available only by request. A two apple bowler hat fee will be charged.

compatibility

Is this brush compatible with my puppy?

The new Sonicare toothbrush is truly an innovation in canine dental hygiene, but it is not compatible with all models of puppy. Please make sure that you purchase a puppy with the NEW! enhanced greed core such as the Arthurpup Mach I. Older models such as the Rockytron Fusion Extreme do not have the enhanced greed core and are should be upgraded as soon as possible. Attempts to use the Sonicare with the Rockytron Fusion Extreme may result in baleful looks, hiding behind toilets, and frustrated shakes of the head followed by slinking away.

To ensure that the greed core is on and functioning during your Sonicaring, use a toothpaste specially designed for this purpose, such as Beef (smells like beef!) and new Seafood (smells like rotting clams!).

To avoid a potentially fatal complication, do not use the Sonicare with Beef or Seafood with human food, water not from the bathtub faucet, while sentient, or if you are pregnant or may become pregnant. Tell your doctor if you experience thoughts of suicide after using Sonicare with Beef or Seafood.

concealing all the right places

I'm pretty sure this means that the top of a puppy head is NSFW

altruism

Much thanks to our first benefactor, Banan A. Republic for graciously providing the first donation to the Rocky and Arthur Puppy Sartorial Fund! Thanks to Mr. Republic's generosity, a pup in need has been matched with unnecessary yet undeniably charming winter headgear. Won't you follow in his footsteps and send in your donation today?

charitable giving

'Tis the season for giving, but more importantly, for accepting graciously. And thus, in that vein, Rocky and Arthur blog is pleased to announce the formation of a non-antiprofit organization that accepts shrunken garments produced from tragic laundromat malfunctions and re-appropriates them to pups in need. For just pennies a day, you too can clothe a pup that is in dire sartorial need! When you contribute, you will receive a personalized photo of your pup wearing your garment, a dedicated blog posting, and the knowledge that you helped make a puppy's life a little more fashionable. And isn't that what the holidays are all about?

For more information, email rockyandarthur@gmail.com.

fiercest loyalties

Just how strong are puppy loyalties?

Two words:
Electric toothbrush.

liveblogging the Thanksgiving Day game

Rocky and Arthur do a re-enactment of select highlights of the Thanksgiving Green Bay vs Detroit game that is going on in real time. There's no chicanery here folks!*

With Arthur representing Detroit and Rocky playing as Green Bay.

2nd and 1 at GB 44
T.Duckett up the middle to GB 34 for 10 yards
Detroit ends the quarter 6-0 versus Green Bay.


3rd and 7 at GB 21
J.Kitna sacked at GB 27 for -6 yards!
Halftime ends with Green Bay leading 17 to 9.


I wasn't paying attention but Green Bay dominated this quarter 14-3 so I'm assuming they get a tackle in.


2nd and 6 at GB 6
J.Kitna pass short middle to C.Johnson for 6 yards, TOUCHDOWN.


Unfortunately the Detroit rally was insufficient and Green Bay wins 37-26.


Then all pups involved break and eat turkey, then take a tryptophan induced nap.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

*Note: looking at EXIF data of these photos to determine when they were taken is strictly against the terms of service and constitutes a violation of the DMCA. Also, it'd be rude and petty to contradict my statement of events. Events that are happening right now. This moment.