on the relationship between necessity and invention

October 29, 2007
Los Angeles - Two Pups Historical Society Press

The Pup Science Institute (formerly known as the Institute for Advanced Puppology) has created a new device that offers a cure for the troublesome and occasionally highly inconvenient problem of canine toiletpaper-phagia.

The device is an improvement on the existing toilet paper stand, which is currently the standard deterrent device. Researchers have discovered that the stand is effective for approximately 50% of puppies but it has a major loophole that can be exploited.

While few puppies will disturb a roll of paper placed on the stand, any paper that is accidentally nudged off the precarious perch and which rests on the floor is considered public property and promptly disposed of. The Pup Science Institute was forced to act when researchers discovered that two pups acting in concert will inevitably collaborate on a complicated ruse whereupon the target is casually-on-purpose knocked from its resting place. Later, both dogs return to the scene of the crime and celebrate by making confetti.

The first prototype for the Improved Canine Toiletpaperphagia 6000 was a large and unsightly behemoth.


After almost 24 hours of research and testing, a sleeker, more modern design emerged triumphant.

Dr. Einsten von Edison, leading canine/toilet paper behaviorist at the institute believes that this invention will be a paradigm shift in the relationship between man, dog, and tp. Stock in Charmin's parent company P&G plummeted 28% to a 23 year low after the press conference, closing at 13.26.