with apologies to Philo T. Farnsworth

FADE IN:

INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - EARLY MORNING

In the darkness, we see a man stumbling around as he gets ready for work. He reaches groggily for his clothes when...

MAN: Ahhhhhh!! Oh noes!

He stumbles to the bedroom, cradling an unknown object in the gloom. We hear choked sobs coming from his direction.

LATER --

Uniformed police are examining the crime scene. Lt. Bill Schmuck enters and addresses the room.

SCHMUCK: What's the story?

A young lackey leaps to his feet and approaches him.

LACKEY: It's pretty gruesome, sir. Brown full grain leather, looks like a size 11, 11 and a half. Such a pity. Fleece lined too. Probably warm as hell. Crime scene has been disturbed, remains were moved here from the living room.

Schmuck bends down and sniffs. We see the grisly scene for the first time:

SCHMUCK: Smells new. Couldn't have been purchased more than a day ago. Two max. Any leads?

LACKEY: None as of yet, sir. There are a set of muddy footprints leading away from the site. Being sent to the lab for analysis right now.

The lieutenant stands up to face the camera and squints in an unconvincing portrayal of deep thought.

SCHMUCK: Looks like our sheepish maniac...
(dramatic pause)
...is on the lam!

FADE OUT


OPENING CREDITS