Wednesday, July 11, 2007

simulacrum

A more detailed explanation of the lack of photos thus far:

The curious reader may be interested to know what exactly cow intestine and partially digested contents therein is like, and being a scholarly resource, I cannot but oblige. Imagine a bright sunny day, and lush, verdant grass as far as the eye can see. Now imagine a cow standing in the middle of said field. Today Bessie happens to be suffering from digestive upset and empties out the contents of her four stomachs, complete with gastric juices, after feasting on the delicate stalks of tender young grass (technically it's one stomach with four parts, but undaunted by such technicalities we continue). Due to a particularly bad spot of luck (of course, for the curious reader, this is wondrous luck indeed as it allows us to continue our mental exercise) the vomitus lands upon a fresh cow patty. The robust product of such a union will achieve a relatively accurate estimation of what green tripe actually is. For you see, the product contained in those deceptively appealing canisters covered with green grass, mountain ranges, and a lone wolf silhouette is approximately halfway between those two perfumed processes. Of course, green tripe also contains the intestinal wrapper of said contents so it is, compared to our vivid description, a trifle fleshier. Is it any wonder then that such a gastronomical delight is regarded so highly by those of the canine persuasion, and why also it is only during special holidays that it is consumed? As a final note to our gentle readers, fire is the only sacrament that is capable of removing the odor of tripe from hapless material belongings, so it is always recommended to have a bonfire going in case an errant drop splashes from the lid.

Weak-kneed readers who have persevered thus far but nonetheless are appalled by my over sharing should rejoice that I did not reveal the sole ingredient of that other much adored doggie favorite, the pizzle stick(sometimes referred to as a bully stick), instead.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home